Autobahn
by lrhaboggle
Summary: Beca goes to Germany to visit her girlfriend. What happens when that girlfriend takes Beca out on a date and decides that the best way to get there is by one of the fastest highways in the world?
1. Autobahn

"Jesus Christ!" Beca shrieked as Kommissar suddenly swerved into another lane. The tiny American's hand clamped down on her arm rest for the eighth time in the past five minutes.

"Sorry, Maus, but I must go faster!" the taller woman chuckled in response to Beca's terrified shriek. As she said this, she pushed the pedal of her VW down even further.

"You're going to kill us both!" Beca shouted back, gripping the arm rest even tighter than before. Her knuckles were impossibly white.

"Come now!" Kommissar chided playfully. "What happened to my Feisty Maus? Where is my kicker of ass?"

"She's still here, and she's gonna kick yours if you don't slow down!" Beca tried to sound intimidating but, being as terrified as she was, her voice came out choked and hushed. Kommissar let out a harsh laugh and swerved past another car.

"We are barely over the average speed, 'fraidy Maus!" Kommissar told her companion.

"Let's keep it that way," Beca mumbled. She sank lower into her seat, wondering how much longer she'd be stuck on this blasted highway…

It had all started only half an hour ago. Kommissar was suggesting that they go out somewhere nice for dinner instead of just stuffing their faces with whatever she kept in her house fridge. Beca had been more than willing to do this, content to eat anything so long as it was with her girlfriend (or if it _was_ her girlfriend). Kommissar finally chose a place that wasn't too fancy, but it wasn't just a fast food joint. The place was about half an hour away from Kommissar's home, just down part of the Autobahn Highway. Of course, the moment Kommissar had mentioned the infamous German freeway, Beca's eyes widened.

"Do you drive on the Autobahn often?" she asked in wonder. She'd hear countless stories of cars almost flying because of how fast they were going, yet she had never been on the famous road herself. The idea that Kommissar may be taking her to it that night was kind of exciting.

"Whenever I feel the need for speed, as you Americans put it," Kommissar replied with a playful smile.

"Awesome!" Beca cheered. "I can handle fast!"

"Ah, be careful, Feisty Maus, for my version of fast and yours are very different," Kommissar warned with a mysterious grin.

"Nonsense!" Beca protested. "I'm sure I can handle it! You're looking at Beca 'effin Mitchell, after all!"

"Well, if you insist," Kommissar replied, that devilish light returning to her gorgeous blue eyes.

A loud horn suddenly blared from Beca's side of the car. She shrieked in surprise and, torn from her thoughts and realization that she really regretted begging Kommissar to go as fast as she dared, jumped straight up. Kommissar laughed at the display. She took a quick glance out Beca's window and her smile grew. She'd recognize that big black car with the ridiculous rainbow stripe down its side anywhere!

"Hallo Kramer!" Kommissar bellowed, rolling down Beca's window while Pieter rolled down his. Of course, he couldn't hear her over the wind, but he still raised his chin in reply. After flashing his turn signal for just a moment, he swerved two lanes over, choosing to take the path that required him to pull directly in front of Beca and Kommissar.

"Jesus Christ!" Beca repeated, jumping back into her seat. Along with seeing Pieter's DSM bumper sticker up way too close for comfort, Beca ended up seeing her pathetic life flash before her eyes.

"Arschloch!" Kommissar cried at the same time. Two shouts echoed the car, but Beca's had been of pure terror while Kommissar's was of amused indignation. Drag races with Pieter, or other DSM members, was commonplace for her. As was almost killing each other with stunts. The two DSM singers continued to move their cars back and forth, cutting each other off and pretending to speed far ahead. Beca was certain this car was going to be her tomb. Oh well, at least dying with Kommissar wasn't such a bad idea… But did it have to be while she was drag racing her guyliner friend down a highway while going at fatal speeds?

After a while, though, Pieter slowed down and leveled himself out with Kommissar's car. Understanding what he wanted, Kommissar slowed down even further and rolled down her window as he rolled down his. Beca still felt uncomfortable with the window down, exposing them to the scourging winds, but she had to admit that she was more than grateful that they'd finally slowed down, even if it was only a little. She dared to let go of her armrest and sit up while Kommissar and Pieter began to talk. Of course, the wind was still too loud for them to talk with, but Pieter hadn't rolled down his window to shout. Instead, he held up his phone. Kommissar understood the signal and quickly turned on the car's Bluetooth.

"Hey, Kommy!" Pieter's voice crackled to life from the dashboard.

"What's up, Pieter?" Kommissar replied cheerfully.

"I see you're trying to impress your Maus with your driving skills!" Pieter commented. Beca could hear him laugh through the speakers and she pouted indignantly. Even though the car was still moving impossibly fast, the slight drop in speed had restored some of her confidence.

"I was handling myself just fine!" she defended herself.

"I never said you weren't," Pieter replied, but Beca could hear the gleeful disbelief in his accented voice. "But I wouldn't blame you. Kommissar is a terrible driver!" he added taunting.

"Watch it," Kommissar pretended to growl at him, cutting him off again.

"Ah! Arschloch!" Pieter cursed, slamming on his breaks.

"Who is the bad driver now?" Kommissar taunted.

"Still you," Pieter replied, pulling into the next lane to line up with Kommissar's car again. This earned him a laugh from Kommissar.

"So, where are you two lovebirds off to anyway?" the large man asked after a brief moment of silence.

"I'm taking Beca out to dinner," Kommissar replied seriously, but she was still grinning. This time, though, a more tender and affectionate note had entered her voice. Beca couldn't help but smile a little at it.

"You are a terrible romantic as well, aren't you?" Pieter teased.

"Watch it," Kommissar warned again. Beca braced herself in case Kommissar tried to cut Pieter off again, but she didn't.

"Well, I was headed out to the movies," Pieter replied calmly. "Since I'm headed in the same direction you are, though, let's have a race."

"A what?!" Beca croaked, already tensing up.

"A race!" Pieter replied. "Kommissar and I do it all the time. Unless you're too scared, little Maus?" Pieter singsonged.

"I am not scared!" Beca defended herself again. "I've drag-raced loads of times before!"

"Sure you have!" Pieter replied. Beca could hear him muffling laughter even through the Bluetooth.

"I have!" Beca repeated forcefully, and it was true!

Several times during her years with the Bellas, Beca had ended up in some kind of road race. The first time was between the Bellas and Trebles. Amy and Bumper were the drivers and the rest of the respective groups had been crammed into the back. The race wasn't even supposed to have happened. It was just fate that the two cars ended up side by side on the highway, kind of like today with Pieter, and the moment Bumper recognized Amy, he and all his Trebles instantly rolled down their windows and began belting a cruel rendition of "Hey Mickey."

"Hey Fatty, you're so fine, you're so fine, come blow to me the sky, hey, hey, Fatty, hey, Fatty!" they had chanted.

"Oh, he wants me to blow him, does he?" Amy had asked, suddenly clutching the steering wheel with enough force to scare all the other Bellas.

"Wait, Amy, no!" the girls tried to stop Amy, but it was too late.

"FOR AUSTRALIA!" Amy had bellowed, leaning on her horn as she started margining into Bumper's lane, sending Bumper squealing higher than a Bella soprano. The two then spent the next 10 minutes chasing each other down the highway until Bumper swerved off an exit at the last second, almost swiping a guardrail while Amy was left to shout profanities as she and the Bellas continued to speed on down the road.

The second race Beca had been in had been more of a race against the clock, but it was still pretty fast. Aubrey had been behind the wheel this time and when she realized that she and her Bellas were about to be late for a performance, she proceeded to drive at speeds double the limit the whole way there. The trip that should've taken 30-40 minutes took less than 10. But nobody had been given any time to get over the fact that Aubrey had nearly killed them all twice because, the moment the car stopped, she unlocked all the doors and started barking orders at them to run because they were 38 seconds behind schedule and come on, ladies! Those 38 seconds could not be wasted if one wanted to have aca-perfection!

The third race was a little more official. Chloe and another one of her lovers had been driving around several back roads and Beca just so happened to be in the car that night.

"You wanna race, sweet cheeks?" Chloe's then-boyfriend, Markus, asked.

"You're on, hottie!" Chloe replied. Beca was pretty certain that Chloe was drunk but, the moment she'd taken off down that little dirt road, going from 20 to 70 before you could blink, Beca wasn't so sure. It didn't help that nearly every turn ended with them nearly crashing just because the stones of the road kept coming loose under Chloe's squealing tires. But Chloe had been far too ecstatic to care, literally screaming with delight as she road over bumps, cracks and potholes, weaving in and out of alleys and dirt and concrete. That had been perhaps the worst car race of Beca's life. At least the ones with Aubrey and Amy had been on flat, smooth road.

So yes, when Beca was telling Pieter that she had been in races before, she hadn't been lying. In addition, every single one of those crazy races had reached speeds well over 100 mph. So what right did Pieter have to claim that she hadn't? Maybe Beca herself preferred to drive like a normal person, but she'd been in some real races before.

"But I'll bet you never went on one on the Autobahn," Pieter shot back and Beca's next protest was ripped from her throat. He had a point there.

"Well, there's a first time for everything!" Kommissar answered for Beca, missing how Beca's confidence had jumped out the window again.

"So is that a yes?" Pieter demanded.

"Of course!" Kommissar replied, then she turned to Beca. She could see genuine fear creeping across Beca's face and she finally allowed a sympathetic look to overtake her own but she hadn't even been able to open her mouth before Beca spoke.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever, Guyliner, you're on!"

"As you wish, feisty Maus," Pieter replied, smugness radiating through the whole car as he detected Beca's feeble attempts at acting cool. He rolled up his window and ended the phone call.

"Hold on, Maus, and I'll teach you about fast!" Kommissar muttered as the dial tone sounded off. Beca didn't even bother protesting, choosing instead to steel up her nerves and try to look excited instead of terrified.

Pieter had insisted that an American's version of a fast lane had nothing on Germany. Such a remark had wounded Beca's pride at first, but now, while flying down the Autobahn at almost 350 kph, she couldn't help but agree. The fastest she'd ever gone was in Aubrey's race where they managed to hit 120 mph. After a few minutes, Kommissar managed to take them at a speed twice as fast as that. What terrified Beca most of all, though, was that absolutely giddy look on Kommissar's face. It told Beca that, as fast and furious as the race was now, the fun was only starting.

"I'm gonna die!" Beca groaned as she got acquainted with this newer, freer, more careless side of her girlfriend and the endless road ahead of them.

Apparently DSM races on the Autobahn were far from rare. Beca was able to garner this from the confidence and strategy Kommissar radiated while driving. In addition, Pieter seemed to like taking the riskiest route possible. Already, he'd swerved between semis, nearly rear ended a truck, and pulled in front of at least 15 other cars and earned a lot of horns and birds.

"Faster, faster! You'll never win at that American pace!" Pieter bellowed as he suddenly shot past.

"In your dreams, dumpkoff!" Kommissar shouted after him, pushing the pedal down even harder than before.

"You Germans and your cars!" Beca grunted, clinging to the armrest again as Kommissar pushed forward and then pulled to the right lane.

"Well of course! Like I said at the Car Show, we excel at automotive perfection!" Kommissar laughed, blaring the horn for fun. Pieter, who was still ahead but losing distance, honked back.

"That should've been our tour!" Beca reminded the German haughtily.

"Ha! As if anyone would want Americans to do a promotion for a German vehicle!" Kommissar retorted. "If you ask me, giving the tour to DSM was a brilliant move, not just for those in marketing, but for anyone with half a brain!" Beca pouted but could think of nothing else to reply with. Meanwhile, Kommissar continued to mutter disdainfully under her breath. "Honestly! What were they thinking? Of course you'd want a German group to introduce a German car! It's it obvious?"

Suddenly, then, a car zoomed on by with every window opened, blasting a loud and upbeat German tune.

"Auf wiedersehen, verlieres!" someone from the window bellowed. Beca chanced a peek and realized she was looking at the girl Chloe had sung against in the Riff Off.

"What the!? How did Ari get here?" Kommissar fumed as Ari sped on by, flipping them off tauntingly as she passed.

"Word travels fast as the autobahn when DSM is out racing on it!" Pieter said, waving his phone. Beca and Kommissar both realized that he had called Ari in just to add more fuel to the fire.

"So is that how you want to play it?" Kommissar demanded. "Do not forget why I am your leader!" she reminded him sternly, then she yanked the car over. Beca shrieked and Pieter was forced to break. Beca turned to see him shaking his fist while Kommissar sped onward.

At last, though, the little race came to a blessed end. Kommissar had managed to pull a win with Pieter and Ari tying for second place just five seconds after Kommissar had stopped.

"Thank goodness!" Beca cried as she fell out of the car. It felt strange to be motionless and grounded, but it was definitely a welcome change.

"So what were you saying about being able to handle speed?" Kommissar teased as Beca sank to the ground in relief.

"Hey! At least I didn't vomit!" Beca protested weakly.

"I suppose not," Kommissar agreed. "But it is still sad that you consider something like that be an achievement!" she added, nudging Beca playfully. Beca, unable to come up with a retort, only sighed back. Kommissar laughed at this before helping her girlfriend up.

"Come on, Maus, I still intend to take you out to dinner," she said, gesturing to the restaurant they had parked at.

"As if I'm going to be able to eat now!" Beca despaired.

"If she won't, I will!" Pieter replied. "Bring me home some leftovers!" he requested of Beca.

"As if!" Beca snorted.

"Spoilsport!" Ari smirked at Beca.

"Don't worry, Maus, if you ready don't think that you are ready to eat, we could just sit for a while. Allow you to catch your breath, yes?" Kommissar asked, that teasing expression still upon her exquisite face.

"Whatever, you German speed-demon," Beca grunted, but she took Kommissar up on that offer and while Pieter and Ari both got back into their cars, still headed towards the movie theater, Beca and Kommissar stayed behind. They ended up taking a seat on a bench just outside the restaurant.

Although Beca's head, heart and stomach were still mush from the impossibly fast drive over, she was finally starting to relax again. It was far more fun to watch the Autobahn than to be on it. But then, sometime during the silence, Kommissar leaned over and kissed Beca's head gently. It was a chaste action but so full of fondness that Beca felt her heart kick-start and she was certain that no car anywhere on the Autobahn could've moved faster than it was at that perfect little moment. Beca had to admit, there was some small thrill in going fast…

 **AN: This was just something that randomly struck me. I took inspiration from my dad's stories about driving on the Autobahn while on business trips in Germany, my mom's irritation at the fact that they, hypothetically, would've had an American team releasing a German car (something Kommissar notes in-story) and my own speeding habits. All my friends and I have, on numerous occasion, shared stories in which we should've all been locked up for how fast we were going. I just wanted to see such arrogant and immature behavior in the PP world because you can't tell me Kommissar isn't a speed demon or that she and Pieter have never raced down the Autobahn and she would totally take Beca out on one of the races just to show off.**

 **Also, translations:**

 **Arschloch: Asshole  
Auf wiedersehen, verlieres: Later, losers!**


	2. Alt Version

"You ready, Maus?" Kommissar asked playfully as she and Beca drove towards the famous German highway known as the Autobahn.

"Is the Autobahn fast?" Beca replied with equal humor. She'd come to visit Kommissar in her home country for a couple of weeks and, of course, one of the first things they had to do was to visit the fastest highway in the world. But they weren't just going for a casual drive. Oh no, they were going for a race! Kommissar had since explained that it was something of a game for DSM to have little midnight excursions on the Autobahn every once in awhile and it was something Beca simply had to be part of.

Now it was time. The light was low and excitements were high as Kommissar and the rest of DSM all headed out to the Autobahn. They all started off slow, only going about 100 kph, but that was just to ensure that everyone was together. Since it was so late, such a pace was very safe. No other cars were around to push them faster.

"Are we all here?" Pieter asked through a kind of Bluetooth phone connection that hooked every car up to everybody else.

"I think," Kommissar replied.

"Yes, we are!" a cheerful voice to the left of Kommissar replied. The voice belonged to a Kommissar-clone. Her name was Birgitte H. Sorenson and she was Kommissar's cousin, also visiting from out of country. But she'd only come from Denmark and not from the USA. She'd been an announcer during the World Championship where Beca and Kommissar and their respective Acapella groups had once competed.

"Ok then, how are we going to do this?" a deeper voice asked next, another car over. It belonged to Engel Liefson, Birgitte's boyfriend. He had red hair cut into something of a Mohawk and he wore a DSM shirt despite having never been part of DSM himself. But since he was Birgitte's boyfriend and Birgitte was Kommissar's cousin, he was able to use a bit of that family power to gain himself the status of an honor DSM singer.

"I'd say we just see go for 10 minutes and then see who's ahead by the end of it," a fifth car suggested. It belonged to Ari.

"Sounds good to me," a sixth car said. It was DSM's blond beat-boxer, Axel. There were two other cars beside Axel and they agreed with his idea.

One by one, everyone else agreed and the race's rules were set. Once everything had been agreed up in full, Kommissar began the race.

"Everyone in line!" she barked. Eight cars obediently lined up. "Now for the countdown!" she said next, then she turned to Beca.

"You want me to do it?" Beca squeaked in excitement. Kommissar nodded, a confident smile on her face. Beca's own smile somehow became even wider and she leaned into the Bluetooth speaker and, starting from five, counted down.

"5… 4…3…2...1!" Beca cried, but no sooner had the last syllable left her lips when she was suddenly thrown backwards. In the blink of an eye, eight cars were flying across the dark and empty highway, zooming along at 250 kph with ease. Beca let out a cry of surprise as her back slammed into its seat. Beside her, Kommissar laughed.

"Sorry, Maus, but you know I'm in it to win it!" she cried with absolute glee. She let out an almost psychotic laugh that Beca echoed. This more carefree Kommissar was far more fun than her stoic counterpart of the past.

It was funny to think of the differences. The Kommissar Beca had first met in her senior year of college had been so still and silent, always watching and waiting. That Kommissar had been like a snake waiting to strike. Now, a year later, the Kommissar that sat beside Beca couldn't have been any more different if she tried. This Kommissar was hooting and hollering, singing and shouting, switching back and forth between all eight of the languages she knew. She put her whole body into the race, rocking forward and backward as she drove and Beca could see her tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song screaming from her stereo. This Kommissar was just so full of life and motion and she was anything but passive, actively cutting off her teammates just for fun. It was the total opposite of the girl Beca met at the World's. That Kommissar calculated everything she did. This one jumped in headfirst, laughing all the way.

Suddenly, Pieter cut Kommissar off.

"Scheiße!" Kommissar hissed as she was forced to break.

"Later loser!" Pieter hollered through the Bluetooth. Kommissar threw one look at Beca who, with determined eyes, nodded. Kommissar gave her a toothy grin in reply before flooring it again. A few moments later, Kommissar was in line with Pieter again. The moment she'd passed him a little, though, Beca made her move. She carefully rolled down her window, ignoring how loud and hard the wind was. She dared to lean out, struggling to keep from being blown away entirely. In her hand was a water balloon the size of a golf ball. As soon as she had a clear shot, she let go of it.

The water balloon splattered harmlessly off the hood of the car but it was enough to earn a cry of fury and shock from the man whose car had been hit. Beca, meanwhile, pulled herself back into the safety of the car, laughing madly as she rolled the window back up.

"Alright!" Kommissar whooped, giving her girlfriend a quick fist-bump before they continued to drive on. Pieter was cussing them out over the radio, but with every insult he released, the louder the laughter from the other seven cars became. It had been a harmless prank, Beca making absolutely certain that the water balloon was tiny and would only hit the car's hood and not its windshield, but the shock of it had still scared Pieter half to death anyway. It was a brilliant trick.

"Later loser!" Beca sang to Pieter, then she and Kommissar both laughed as they increased speed just a little bit more…

At minute nine, things were heating up. Cars reached the edge of the speedometer. Beca and Kommissar were third place behind Pieter who was behind Engel. Birgitte, Ari, Axel, and the others were still behind. Ari and Birgitte were currently engaged in what looked like a car dance off, both of them switching lanes at the same time over and over again. Axel was on the innermost lane, trying to gain more speed. Kommissar, however, didn't care for any of this. Instead, her blue eyes focused in on Engel.

"Ready, Beca?" she demanded.

"Ready!" Beca replied. Kommissar pushed her foot to the gas pedal one more time in reply and, as they fell in line with Pieter, Kommissar pretended to push him out of the way. It worked and Pieter was forced to move over, slowing in the process. Then last was Engel. Kommissar leaned forward, breath bated as she grew entirely focused upon this one individual. Faster, faster, faster!

Beca then stuck her arm out the window once more, feeling it get torn off almost instantly. In her hand was her phone. She flicked on its light and shined it through Engel's back window. It wasn't enough to blind him, but it was enough to distract him and even though the distraction was small, there was only five seconds left on the timer so all Kommissar and Beca needed was that one little distraction. Then, they had won. Engel briefly lifted his foot from the gas pedal to see what that flickering light in his rearview mirror was and that was when Beca and Kommissar went flying on by, almost literally, tires almost not even touching the pavement by then.

"Woo hoo!" Beca bellowed as soon as they all pulled off the highway to stop and stretch their legs and recuperate before going home.

"Wow! That Maus really is feisty," Ari mumbled, impressed. Most foreigners who traveled the Autobahn were either scared sick or only had a quiet confidence in their ability to drive. This Maus, though, had embraced the speed wholeheartedly and laughed in the face of danger. She could see why her leader might've fallen so deeply for the American.

"Yes, perhaps we have misjudged the Americans and what kind of champions they can produce," Axel agreed appreciatively.

"Yeah, you Germans may think you're special with your automotive perfection and your multiple championships, but I am the kicker of ass! I cannot be defeated!" Beca boasted, the adrenaline of the race still making her unnaturally bold. All of the larger Germans laughed at her but, for once, she didn't feel embarrassed at all. Instead, she laughed right along with them.

"Do you think I could drive us home?" Beca asked Kommissar next.

"If you wish," Kommissar replied and Beca's impossibly large smile got even larger still. By the end of it, it was _Kommissar_ who was shaking with a little bit of fear. She was certain that Beca hadn't dropped below 250 kph the entire trip home.

"That was the best night ever!" the brunette declared as she exited Kommissar's poor, tired car.

"It was," Kommissar agreed, long legs shaking just slightly from how fast Beca had taken them.

"You weren't scared, were you?" Beca taunted as they entered Kommissar's house.

"Not at all," Kommissar replied, raising her chin proudly.

"Then why are your legs shaking?" Beca asked knowingly.

"Because I'm still so hyped up," Kommissar answered, not missing a beat. Then her face took on a mischievous look. "In fact, Maus, I think that I am not even ready to call it a night. I need another race. I need something else to get my blood pumping. Would you care to join me?" she trailed off with a seductive wink.

Just for a moment, Beca was at a loss for words. As dorky as Kommissar could be, she always seemed to know just how to get Beca going and it was just enough to remind them both who was in charge. Kommissar knew how to go from trembling to suave in .273 seconds flat. It was actually quite impressive. And sexy.

"I'd be more than happy to," Beca said finally. Ok, so perhaps Kommissar still always knew how to one-up her, but Beca was getting better with her comebacks. This was especially evident in what she said next: "I'd be happy to, but you should know that I only ride hard and fast."

"Don't worry, Maus," Kommissar replied with a grin. "As a German who loves the Autobahn, I wouldn't have it any other way."

 **AN: This was just an alternate version because I wanted to see a version where "Kicker of Ass" Beca is the one in the car with Kommissar. I like the idea that she would actually get a thrill out of this even though I'm pretty sure she'd be totally terrified. Also, in this slightly different version, Kommissar's actress is treated as a real person and a relative to Kommissar. In addition, that piece about Birgitte being an announcer in PP2 was real. She was the voice who announces DSM's performance.**

 **(Side note, Engel is based on a very dear friend of mine. He knows who I'm talking about).**


End file.
